So on Saturday, Janet and I decided to MarchFourth Together forevermore :D Where is the laugh-crying emoji when I need it? Life is such a beautiful, strange, fantastic whirlwind ♥ We already knew there was no one else in the world either of us could imagine spending our lives with. But now it's formal. It's official. We're engaged! AND NOW YOU KNOW TOO :D
I love this quote by Jose Gonzalez:
"It's one thing to fall in love -- and it's another to make it last."
I am SO excited to continue building LOVE and a life with Janet :) Spoiler alert on the proposal story: when Janet got down on one knee she said "I want to show you how much I love you in the years to come, not with words but with action."
And I feel like she summed it up so perfectly. We are learning more and more every day what behaving lovingly looks like. What strengthens us and tears us apart. How to always choose each other, and choose to never forget the reasons we are so madly in love with each other. I've never had a lot of great relationship role models, and I want to change that for Janet's and mine someday-children. I want to do that for myself, for us, for the beauty that we carry between us.
So anyways, of course I said yes :) It wasn't just because Janet found a gorgeous hand-made ring from an Israeli artisan that featured leaves, a moonstone, and two lab-grown gems. And it wasn't just because Janet chose the gazebo steps away from my favorite River. And it wasn't just because the sun was shining, casting shimmering reflections of light off of the Mississippi. It all sure didn't hurt, tho ;)
On Our Name
When Janet & I get married, we are both going to change our last name to Adalance ♥ Her last name is currently Garthwaite, but she grew up as a Lance -- but her stepdad was never able to formally adopt her. Janet wants to honor her relationship with her family (the Lances), and with her dad Tony Lance.
I'm not exactly stuck on keeping my name Adams, but I do love my initials (HA!) and we both wanted something that represented our coming together and creating something new.
So Adalance became :) And we can't be more excited.
On Our Home:
Our engagement isn't the only big thing happening.
Janet and I have decided to buy a small home in Platteville!
How it began:
Last month, we learned we wouldn't be able to renew our lease at our current rental (long story, but don't don't worry -- we still like our landlord, and our landlord still likes us). The news was initially devastating. We had been intending from the get-go to stay here till the tiny house was finished. Our lease ends May 31st, and moving then would realistically push our build date back another year. Which means the tiny house wouldn't be finished for another three years.
We intended to eventually buy a small family sized home (we want to adopt in the future). We never knew exactly where we wanted that small family sized home to be, though, but the tiny house was going to help us get there financially. We are simply skipping ahead to that step. (Holler if you know of any small, affordable homes for sale away from of the University area!)
I never thought I could or would want to stay in Platteville. Until Trump got elected. And then I realized how much work there is to do in small towns like the one I grew up in, and how if everyone like me kept leaving that it would always stay the same. There are so many beautiful aspects to Platteville and Driftless region living. But it's not exactly the inclusive and aware place that I want to raise my children in. I want to help Platteville become a kinder, more welcoming, less fearful place.
I've been wanting to grow roots, to feel like I can fully invest in my community. I've been one-foot-out-the-door for so many years, and it's exhausting. I've been learning so many things about Platteville, and meeting so many inspiring people -- there are amazing projects, causes, and movements happening all around us that are helping guide Platteville into becoming the best little big town it can be ♥ And I want to be a part of it!
Janet loves Platteville too; her friends, the possibilities, the proximity to Monroe (altho we are crossing our fingers in hope that her folks eventually move to Platteville!!!). While she's always been supportive of tiny house living, she is downright ecstatic excited thinking about us owning our own home. That permanence. Home care. Equity. She's super cute.
the Tiny House:
While on one hand it's incredibly sad to let go of the tiny house dream, it's incredibly freeing too. When I first thought of it, it was intended FOR my twenties -- not to eat up my twenties. I'm so excited to let it go, and create space in my life for new weekend projects and adventures. Growing an asparagus patch. Starting a novel. Going camping in Door County.
If you are thinking about building a tiny house, I can save you nearly FIVE YEARS of salvage work and connect you with materials. Things I got for free, I'd like to return or pass on for free. Things I bought, I'd like to pass on for around how much I paid.
I'll still be keeping a few things -- my tools, for instance. But I only want to keep the things I will actually use. While the tiny house dream might not have led where I thought it would, the guiding principles will stay with me on all our future adventures.
Love what you have. Let go of anything you don't. Make space for magic to happen.
Marie Kondo would be proud ;)
I believe you become a healthier person
-- mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually --
the moment you start living the way you believe you should,
whatever that may be." - Mark Boyle